doctor, a lawyer, and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says, “For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.”

The doctor says, “It’s better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health.”

The manager says, “You’re both wrong. It’s best to have both so that when the wife thinks you’re with the mistress, and the mistress thinks you’re with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work.”

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male’s recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk…

“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

“This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me.”

“Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!”

“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”

“I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”

“I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress.”

“Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

“The coffee machine is broken…”

“Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot…”

” … in Jesus’ name. Amen.”